With the new school year came a new sign, posted in front of a nearby public school:
It’s really cool
to walk to school
“Really cool,” huh?
I agree with the sentiment now, but that wasn’t quite my experience of what walking to school meant back when I was actually doing it.
Since I thought they could do better – and I’ve always wanted to pen a rhyming sign that would inform and inspire schoolchildren – I decided to come up with some elaborations on the theme for next year.
School districts, please feel free to use any of the following:
Time for learning, hope you’re ready
The popular kids all show up sweaty
You’ll look back fondly on these days
When you walked to school, uphill both ways
Honestly, you wouldn’t be that bright
Even with those lost electrolytes
If a drop-off kid starts poking fun
Politely mention he’s rotund
Only children of ill repute
Arrive in cars with horns that toot
Only a jerky bourgeoisie
Arrives at school by SUV
If you step gently to our door
The world will exist in 2034
If you burn up gas to not be late
The world will melt by 2028
When legs are all you can afford
Hit the bricks and thank the Lord
Dad won’t take a predatory loan?
Looks like you’ll be walking home
Sweaty spawn of working mama
Thanks a lot for that, Obama!
Feel free to add your own.
Together, we can change the world… with rhyming signage.