Dear Hosting Company:
Can I pay my hosting bill in jokes
Or witty repartee?
Would you accept a sonnet
Or a limerick from me?
I stand before your desk today
In hopes that perchance
You’d zero out my balance owed
For just this festive dance
The rumors of your eminence
Will spread clear to Japan
If you’ll take folksy sayings
On a payment plan
Retired to your rocking chair
Would you rather raise a toast
To the time you took my fifty bucks
Or were the star of my blog post?
How much rarer a moment shared
Than a common dollar bill is!
How much barer I lay my case
Than the head of a Bruce Willis!
Under threat of disconnection
I’m connecting mightily
Just flip a switch, key a code
For a big ol’ hug from me
If you persist in stubbornness
All surly and obstinate
That’s your problem, buddy
… My payment will be late
(Just noticed a hosting bill is due tomorrow. Just noticed I’m broke. In case my love poem to the hosting company doesn’t work… If you’d like to help keep this freak show online, feel free to throw $5 or $10 or some other amount into the hat. If you’d like, I’ll send you a whimsical postcard of thanks.)