Meet Chris Wilcox

goodbye, facebook

by //

Being without a personal Facebook account for the first time in 13+ years is pretty strange. It’s like a gathering place, designed specifically for me and peopled by characters I specifically chose, that I can’t visit anymore.

It’s strange to think, too, that there are people who only ever would have had the opportunity to connect with each other on my page, for whom I would have been the common link. When I think of that, I fear I messed everything up by leaving.

But I’m a little skeptical that connection itself is the ultimate good. What is the quality of connection that a technology enables?

When I sat down to write about it, my thoughts emerged as a bad break-up poem.

 

goodbye, facebook

it’s been a long time

i know because
my algorithmic thought
upon deleting facebook
was “wow, i wonder
what the people on facebook
would say about this”

but there’s nothing to return to
nowhere to take my actions
for assessment
and quips

my peanut gallery gone
yours one nut short

i left, and
the universe
in which the thing i did
is a big unthinkable deal
is a universe
i can no longer access
since i left

a universe
that can’t exist
as i knew it
since i was its center

(how vain!)

the band disbanded

the circle of people
who might be
aware of
and surprised
by this occurrence
to whom it’s even relevant
aren’t encircled anymore
not around me

the circle is gone

i’m somewhere else
now
i have disparate connections
stray dots

i can shoot out a line
to this person
or that
as strictly individuals

and the only place it comes together
really comes together
is here
in my head
and here
in my heart
(not in a data center)
as it always has been
and probably always should be

because what happens
between people
is not likes or shares
or public displays
but moments

so anyway
how are you?

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Comments

  1. That’s a very nice poem, I like it and even though I still check Facebook from time to time, I do know it’s not really the best place and understand there’s problems with it so I have no arguments with why someone would leave it/hate Facebook in general

    • Hey, thanks for coming by.

      I can’t swear I’ll be off the platform forever, but I’m giving it a try for now. Hopefully I won’t lose touch with everyone I’ve ever known!

  2. Nicely Written!

    I disabled my Facebook a couple years ago, and gave it a month. One month turned into two, and before I knew it I had more time to do the things that I enjoy. Facebook then sent me an email after a few months asking if I wanted to delete, so I did. I didn’t enjoy seeing small manipulated glimpses into peoples lives, or being forced to read political rants. Life is way to short for Facebook drama.

    Enjoy your newfound time!

    • Tony,

      Thanks for your testimonial. You’re like the “After” photo.

      I remember when you disappeared; I was bummed out about it at the time, but also not surprised that you wouldn’t have a lot of patience for a system built on an appeal to its users’ vanity.

      “Here’s the world, reconfigured around your likes and preferences! With some ads we snuck in there! Post your opinions! Post your selfies! Also, we might be sharing your data with unsavory characters in ways you don’t understand!”

      (I must have some vanity. I stayed a while.)

      I was able to reconnect with a few people I missed, including you, and have some meaningful conversations. But it felt like all of that was against the grain of what the site was really built to do. Enough swimming upstream. I suspect the bit of head space I’m liberating by leaving will be better spent elsewhere.

  3. I totally understand and respect your decision but I’ll still miss you.
    Your one-liners often brightened my days.

    • That’s what I was going for with the one-liners, so I’m glad it worked for someone.

      One thing I still enjoyed, even after I gave up on News Feed, was the ability to have a fond thought of someone and head directly to the profile to check in on their latest. Until I am fully deprogrammed, I may have to resort to sending out-of-the-blue “Okay, what are you doing RIGHT NOW?” emails to people as I think of them. Look out.

  4. I will miss your funny bus-riding stories. Thanks for all the times you put yourself out there.

    I have pulled back on Facebook myself, but cannot cut the cord completely…what if I miss a cute grandkid, niece or nephew photo?

    And now I will have to email my stupid stuff directly to you!

    end of an era…

    • I think you owe it to yourself to ride public transit more, Paulo. It’s where all the characters are.

      Yes, please, I will need more stupid stuff by email!