Slogans to inspire the youth

With the new school year came a new sign, posted in front of a nearby public school:

It’s really cool
to walk to school

“Really cool,” huh?

I agree with the sentiment now, but that wasn’t quite my experience of what walking to school meant back when I was actually doing it.

Since I thought they could do better – and I’ve always wanted to pen a rhyming sign that would inform and inspire schoolchildren – I decided to come up with some elaborations on the theme for next year.

School districts, please feel free to use any of the following:

Time for learning, hope you’re ready
The popular kids all show up sweaty

You’ll look back fondly on these days
When you walked to school, uphill both ways

Honestly, you wouldn’t be that bright
Even with those lost electrolytes

If a drop-off kid starts poking fun
Politely mention he’s rotund

Only children of ill repute
Arrive in cars with horns that toot

Only a jerky bourgeoisie
Arrives at school by SUV

If you step gently to our door
The world will exist in 2034

If you burn up gas to not be late
The world will melt by 2028

When legs are all you can afford
Hit the bricks and thank the Lord

Dad won’t take a predatory loan?
Looks like you’ll be walking home

Sweaty spawn of working mama
Thanks a lot for that, Obama!

Feel free to add your own.

Together, we can change the world… with rhyming signage.