In which Chris realizes that his inability to establish a solid alibi makes him an ideal patsy.
Wasn’t Funny the First Time: Facebook Statuses Live!
A self-involved, sit-down stand-up special that didn’t need to exist but does anyway.
On the virtues of finger snapping
Wherein I discover that some ways of being are more likely to get you locked inside a closed video store than others.
Screw you, Wilford
Good news: I wrote you a Christmas poem starring Wilford Brimley.
New songs: “Hell Yes, I Like Your Mustache” and “90s Sedan”
In the earliest days of this site, I was wary of posting too many humorous lyrics lest my whole interest in lyric-writing seem to be one big joke. Now that I’ve begun to establish my self-serious songwriter bona fides with downright pitiful songs about people breaking up and dying and being inclined toward addiction, the […]
The Undisputed King of Garbanzo Park
When you haven’t had many big successes to stake your life upon, you take your victories where you find them. Sometimes this means strapping on your best sneakers and race-walking a stroller-pushing stay-at-home mom without telling her that’s what’s happening, then reveling in your triumph. Sometimes it means claiming dominion over an entire public park. […]
Regarding your party invitation: Further information required
Dear Friend, Your party invitation has been received, but cannot be processed on the basis of the limited information supplied. Please complete the following supplementary questionnaire, using additional blank sheets of paper as necessary, and return the entire packet within 5 days using the included self-addressed, stamped envelope. You will receive a final decision by […]